Not understanding this actually kept my husband and me from dating for a whole year! But let me back up a bit…
On our first date, my new acquaintance made me supper and took me to see “Fiddler on the Roof”. Sounds innocent enough. But I was about to have my wisdom teeth taken out. My date was about to finish his Dental Degree. His High-D communication style was full of strong statements about what I must do and must NOT do with getting wisdom teeth removed. (See last week’s blogpost on D-Style Communication.)
Being the High I-Style, I did a lot of laughing, brushing off his strong statements, and he says I even sang along with the movie… which I find very hard to believe. But it was more “silliness” than he could stand. And his instructions were more “bossiness” than I liked. So we mutually agreed not to pursue the relationship any further. And yes, it was a whole year before we crossed paths again and started dating. Simply misunderstanding these preferences for communication and our DISC Styles nearly kept us from our now 47 years of marriage.
The I-Style prefers to communicate by being:
- Direct – more on the honest side than the forceful D-Style approach
- Persuasive – “This will be FUN!”
- Inspiring – especially about how their idea could benefit people
- Fun-loving – lots of laughter, joking, finding the funny side of things
- Optimistic – “SURE! I can add that to my already packed schedule!”
- Focused on ideas – getting past the surface facts of a discussion
Obviously, this I-Style preference for how they naturally communicate is vastly different from the D-Style we looked at last week and the S and C Styles we will discuss in the next two posts.
It all works together for greater understanding… and long-lasting friendships… and functioning office staff… and happy marriages.
QUESTION: What do you think could be the consequence of misunderstanding how someone naturally communicates? I’d love to hear your thoughts and observations. Please share in the comment section below.
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