What You Say Is What You’ll Get – So Choose Praise

Perhaps you’ve heard this phrase, “What you say is what you’ll get.” I’m not sure where I first heard it – probably from a parenting book – but I’ve certainly found it to be absolutely true! Whether those words are directed at a son or daughter, or one of your students, or one of your patients, whether or not that person acts like they’ve heard you or responds in any way, those words have “landed.” They are like seeds that are planted deep down in that child’s heart and mind. Then slowly, over time, those seeds sprout and start growing and producing fruit.

Our goal is to plant only those seeds of traits we truly want to see develop in that child. The scary thing is that the words can come out of our mouths so quickly, before we have a chance to choose if we want them planted in that child or not.

This week, I want us to take seriously the opportunity we have to plant positive seeds that will bear top quality fruit. We do that by choosing praise over put-downs. The child who overhears their parent complaining to a friend that they absolutely wear them out with all their energy and questions, will take those words to heart and either shut down or double their energy and questions. But the child who overhears praise will take those words to heart as well and grow and thrive from them.

Better yet, are the powerful praise words spoken directly to a child. Let’s look for specific words that will “call out” the positive traits we see and want to develop:

• “That was such a thoughtful way to share with your little sister. I’m thankful she has you for her big brother. You are a caring person.”
• “Way to work hard on that assignment! I can tell you kept at it until you figured it out! Well done! You are learning to persevere even when it’s hard.”
• “Wow! Look at your clean teeth. You’ve done a great job taking care of them these last few months. Now they will take care of you! That shows you are responsible.”

Let’s all give the little bit of extra to listen to ourselves and choose praise words, especially as we talk with the children in our lives, whether as a parent, extended family member or professional. We all can influence them through the power of our words.

QUESTION: Do you agree with the statement, “What you say is what you’ll get?” Do you think it is worth the effort to carefully listen to ourselves as we talk to children and choose strengthening praise words? I’d love to hear your thoughts and observations. Please share in the comment section below.