Am I a Positive Mirror to the Children in My Life?

While I wait for permission to share more about how DISC Styles influence adult/child interactions, there are a few critically important adult/child lessons I’ve learned over many years of parenting and teaching that are worth sharing here. The first is the concept of being a Positive Mirror.

Our youngest child, a son, followed two older sisters, who were both outstanding students who thrived on excellence in their classes. Our son, however, was content in being a cooperative student, polite in class. He was very bright and got excellent scores on standardized tests. He was just much more interested in sports and taking things apart and where was the nearest tree he could climb and jump out of than in sitting down to study.

At first, we knocked heads constantly over getting his homework done and pursuing good grades until I realized it was damaging the relationship we had with him and affecting how he saw himself. I distinctly remember the day I decided that regardless of his grades or his academic achievements, I was going to DELIGHT in this child every day. He was of much more value than his grades! It was a life-turning moment.

In Charles Boyd’s excellent book, Different Children, Different Needs  [affiliate link], he talks about how “we are a mirror that our child looks into every day. We reflect back to them what they will believe about themselves.” Whether we are a parent who has this opportunity daily, a grandparent or aunt or uncle who has regular times with the child, or a professional who sees them once a month for office checks, we have a chance to be a Positive Mirror in their lives.

Ways to be a Positive Mirror:

• Smile at them – with all of our face
• When we look at them, think “I delight in you!” It will come out in our eyes.
• Talk about what is interesting to them – for us it was anything other than schoolwork and grades
• Find things to do together that they enjoy – it can be as simple as throwing the football in the backyard

Next week, we will talk about “What You Say is What You Get” and the power of positive words as a mirror in a child’s life.

QUESTION:  Have you ever seriously considered how to be a Positive Mirror in a child’s life? What ways have worked well for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and observations. Please share in the comment section below.